This was written in response to a post on a forum.  The post was in jest, but the 14 items it stated someone should have done before marriage were, in my opinion, certainly not the sort of thing which would indicate that a person was ready for marriage.

I think that too many people today take marriage too lightly.  I hear people stating that they do not believe getting married would be very important to them, because divorce would always be an option.  The attitudes displayed in that post were indicative of the selfishness and lack of commitment which pervades our society and threatens the marriages of many people.  I was unwilling to let it stand, and so I came up with a few things which I believe will truly help prepare someone for a lasting and loving marriage.

 

8 Things You Should Have Done Before Getting Married

 
1.  Lived on your own for a while.  It's important to know you can take care of yourself before having to take care of another person.

2.  Learned the fine art of conversation.  If you expect to be with your spouse for years on end, you want to make sure you are still as fascinating twenty years and four kids from now.

3.  Volunteered in some sort of community service.  Marriage is a giving proposition.  Develop those skills early.

4.  Pursued a dream, no matter how small.  It will enrich your life forever.

5.  Apologized to those guys you dropped flat as a pancake.  You'll be able to live with yourself better and won't have those actions haunting you years later in your conscience.

6.  Watched the sun rise or set in silent solitude.  It is important to know you can live with your own thoughts before having to deal with another person's psychological quirks.

7.  Kept your eyes wide open on your proposed spouse before marriage, and resolved to keep them half-closed after marriage.  You're going to have to live with some imperfections.  Just make sure beforehand those imperfections are ones you can live with for a good, long time.

8.  Spoken with someone who has been married for 50 years, to see what the real secrets and priorities of a good marriage are.  Sometimes the newest ideas are not always the best ideas.

 

Copyright June 2006 by Anneliese Kvamme

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